High-functioning depression isn’t merely a bad attitude, and no, you can’t just snap out of it. People with HFD tend to be individuals with a lot of determination who tend to endure significant negative symptoms without asking for help. Here are five clues you may be depressed and not know it.
Viewing entries tagged
anxiety
Mental health problems are more common than we think —even in the church. For all of the things churches do well in loving and serving people, there are a few things we need to understand better. Here are four truths people with mental illness need the church to know.
We all need moments, seasons, where we can open our soul-windows, pull back the curtains, and clear out what has grown cluttered, dim, and down-right dirty. Here is my guide to emotional spring-cleaning that will lighten your load, fill your tank, and maximize your wellbeing.
I used to think I was fairly smart. I graduated at the top of my class, got a full scholarship to college. I should have had everything necessary for success —but I didn’t.
Emotionally, I was a wreck. Though I had a good IQ, my EQ (emotional quotient) wasn’t very high and that impacted everything —my career, my relationships, everything.
Daniel Goleman, one of the prominent researchers on emotional intelligence found that only 20% of success in life was determined by our IQ, while 80% of our success is determined by our EQ. That’s right – 80%.
Last week I wrote about God’s design for our emotions.
If you missed it, you can read ‘Why Your Emotions Matter More Than You Think.’
I’ve found eight traits emotionally-intelligent people use for success not just in their careers, but in all of their relationships as well. Make sure to read to the end and take our Emotional Intelligence Quiz!
1. They’re more self-aware.
Individuals with emotional intelligence are able to accurately self-reflect. They know their personality, their core strengths and weaknesses, as well as environments that will bring out the best in them. They don’t allow their weaknesses to hold them back. Rather than beating themselves up for what they don’t know or struggle to do well, they focus on creating strategies to improve skill sets so they can achieve their goals.
Emotionally-intelligent people have cultivated a healthy relationship with their emotions. They understand, in developing a healthy relationship with their emotions, an amazing thing happens: they no longer have to be afraid of their emotions, nor do they have run from them. The simply deal with them. CLICK TO TWEET
2.They live with balance.
Because they have a high level of self-awareness, they instinctively know how to cultivate and maintain balance in their lives. Whether at work or in their personal lives, they understand how to take care of themselves well in order to be the best they can be in every area of life. They eat well, get plenty of rest, and foster interests outside of work to establish and enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing.
3.They’re not perfectionists.
While emotionally-intelligent individuals are highly motivated and accomplished, they recognize that perfection is impossible. Instead of creating an impossible cycle of unrealistic expectations followed by frustration and shame, they focus their energies on doing their best, maintaining flexibility, and learning from their mistakes.
4. They’re curious about life.
They’ve learned to cultivate an appreciation for varied and unique experiences. They are curious and passionate, knowing how to explore and learn new concepts and skills. Their curiosity makes them equally open to asking questions as well as to adapting to new solutions. Curious people are delightful people who haven’t lost their innate sense of wonder in a complex world of responsibilities.
5. They’re empathetic with others.
An essential quality of EQ, individuals are well-skilled in their ability to relate to others. They can listen, understand, and offer empathy to others as they share thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This better communication and reduces conflict both in the workplace and in personal relationships.
6. They’re growth-oriented.
Individuals with high EQ aren’t afraid of change. Because they are open to learning new things, they embrace growth as a necessary and important part of life. They are eager to accept challenges and usually adapt well even under difficult circumstances. In seeing the bigger picture, they can mobilize internal strategies to adjust and energize around new problems and circumstances.
7. They’re grateful.
Living with gratitude has an enormous impact on our level of Emotional Intelligence. People who have a grateful disposition look for things big and small for which they can be thankful. Click To Tweet They are generally satisfied with life and rarely allow negative feedback or people to influence their lives or their decisions.
8. They bring out the best in others.
Because they are at peace with themselves, people with EQ are able to see coworkers and friends not as threats, but as assets. Not needing to be defensive with others, they instead create a safe environment in which others can thrive. They love to see colleagues, friends, and family reach their potential and are motivated by cooperation rather than competition.
How many of these qualities are you able to identify? Do some seem to come naturally while others seem overwhelming?
The best news about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be cultivated and nurtured throughout our lives. Where we are today does not have to determine our future.
How can You find out what Your Emotional Intelligence is?
I’ve included this quiz for subscribers as part of my Resource Library that will help you get a baseline of your EQ.
My book, Peace For A Lifetime: Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony Through Emotional Abundanceis all about learning the skills to lower your anxiety, lower the drama in your life, increase your Emotional Abundance, and maximize your peace!
The more we increase our level of EI, the more stable, positive, and productive our lives become, and the less chaotic, reactive, and hopeless our relationships feel. This is the single greatest area we could invest in for ourselves, our children, and our futures so that we can achieve our best life!
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
It steals in quietly before the first flicker of dawn. It’s grey shadows move across my unconscious mind, hovering overhead, bearing down on my disquieted sleep.
One tiny thought disrupts any hope of peaceful rest and within an instant pulls me under, dragging me into the deep where thoughts swallow me whole like the whale that swallowed Jonah.
Fear.Cold, callous fear.At times, fear consumes me before I can even catch my breath.
An enigmatic enemy, a formidable foe and an opportunistic oppressor, fear steals the ground underneath my feet and leaves me hanging by a thread.Lost, without hope.
Hopelessness betrays any prospect of faith and holds me both terrorized and terrified by the deep pangs of fear itself.My body knows the tremors.It has memorized the movements within and almost instinctively sways underneath such a fierce weight.
Charles Spurgeon once said of fear,
The worst evils of life are those which do not exist except in our imagination. If we had no troubles but real troubles, we should not have a tenth part of our present sorrows. We feel a thousand deaths in fearing one, but the (Christian) is cured of the disease of fearing.
Sometimes my battle with fear has gotten the best of me, but I’m no longer surrendering the fight in my effort to escape its terror.I’m not sitting back, waiting for its mighty force to invade my peace sanctuary.No longer holding my breath in dread, hoping it somehow passes me by, because in reality, it never does.
I’m learning to attack it…with a vengeance.This is all-out war and I’m in training to become a mind warrior, a thought gladiator.I’m purposing myself for the fight and I’m going in battle-ready!
No matter what our struggle is, be it fear, panic, worry, or despair, the battle will be won or lost in our minds and as Christians, we have so many tools to fight the spiritual battle —and win.Here are three truthsI’ve learned from the book, Battle Ready: Train Your Mind to Conquer Challenges, Defeat Doubt, and Live Victoriouslyby Kelly Balarie, that can equip each of us —because it takes a warrior mindset to win the spiritual mind war!
#1 Truth —We have a spiritual enemy who is trying to defeat us
Sometimes we lose focus.Sometimes the circumstances of life distract and overwhelm us to the point we forget the most important thing —this is war, and we better prepare ourselves to win, or be prepared to lose.
It’s that simple.
Ephesians 6:12(NIV) says, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm.
I Peter 5:8-9(NIV) also says that, Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
They say the best defense is offense. That’s why we don’t have the choice of sitting back, of settling in, or of living our spiritual life on cruise control.
And God is right here in the battle with us. He sees us in our struggles, He understands every sorrow and every soul ache.He stands there waiting for us —to lead us, guide us, coach us and strengthen us for the fight.He wants us to be aware so that we can be prepared.
We have an enemy who is trying to defeat us…but we know that, the One who is in [us] is greater than the one who is in the world. (I John 4:4, NIV)
We’ve got this, if we lean in and seize it.
#2 Truth —We can become mind warriors for a spiritual mind war
We don’t always have to run from the demons in the headlights.We don’t have to cower at the thought of battle.We don’t.
Our power comes from within.Christ in us, the hope of glory, lives within and He gives us the supernatural power to take back the negative thought-patterns, the destructive beliefs about ourselves and others, and reclaim our minds as God’s territory.
In Battle Ready,Kelly Balarie states, The thoughts I sow create the life I reap.
Battle Readyexplains so much about the types of negative thinking and how they form destructive neural pathways in our brains.But the great news is, our brains are flexible, a trait called neural plasticity, and what was learned can be unlearned, giving us the power to train our minds toward more hopeful, more truthful, more compassionate internal thought patterns.
Take the ‘Find Your Battle-Style Quiz’NOW and create a personalized daily battle plan !!!!!
2 Corinthians 10:5(NIV) also tells us to, demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
If the Bible commands us to take every thought captive, perhaps it is because He has already empowered us to do it. We don’t have to wait for the miracle, the miracle is here.
It is our choice whether we engage the battle to win, or sit quietly on the sidelines and settle into the rhythms of defeat, succumb to the ‘I can’t’mentality, and surrender the war that Christ has already won on our behalf.
We can become mind warriors in this spiritual war, and we can win.The battle has already been won.Let’s go claim the victory.
#3 Truth —We can prepare for battle with prayerful minds and thankful hearts
When we are focused on our fear, consumed by our circumstances, it is hard to feel prayerful or thankful for much of anything.All we see is an endless desert wasteland and all we want is to see the Promised Land.
Like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, we grumble.We complain.We despair.
We say,
How did this happen?
Where is God?
Why have You not rescued me?
A prayerful mind says,
I feel overwhelmed, but I will cast all of my cares on You.
I don’t know what to do, but I will put my trust You.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I know You hold my future.
A thankful heart says,
Thank You for Your faithfulness to me in the midst of my circumstances.
Thank You for Your goodness at work in my life even when I can’t see.
Thank You for the gift of Your presence because that is all I need.
So subtle, yet so powerful.Battle Readyshares strategies to teach us how we can shift our focus and cultivate prayer and thankfulness as a battle strategy to overcome and win.
Phillippians 4:8 (NIV)encourages us, Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
So when the grey shadows try to steal quietly overhead, when darkness moves in at the first light of dawn attempting to drown me in fear, I have a battle plan. You can have a battle plan, too.You can recognize the enemy.You can become mind warriors for this spiritual mind war we’re in.You can prepare for battle with prayerful minds and thankful hearts.
Our God has won, so I know we will win.We will win as long as we’re geared up and Battle Ready!
Would you take 30 seconds of your time and click here, scroll down and vote for #10 in the comments section?It’s that easy.Would you also help share across your social media platforms, encouraging others to vote as well?
Take the ‘Find Your Battle-Style Quiz’NOW and create a personalized daily battle plan !!!!!
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
Sometimes the only one way to deal with fear – is to fight it. We’ve got to stop hiding in the corner, stop shaking in our shoes. In the face of such an opponent, our only response is to put on our big girl boots and kick fear all the way to the curb.
Fear can take over our lives if we let it. I know it used to take over my life at times. Fear consumed so much of my mental, physical, even my spiritual energy. I felt helpless to overcome the waves of sheer terror that pounded on my heart and mind.
I shared a few months back about my journey with fear and how it had resurfaced recently after more than twenty years. When I had the first panic attack, I said, Aw, just a anomaly. Nothing to worry about. When I had the second I got a bit concerned, and after the third, I began to get serious.
I needed every tool I could find, every ounce of strength I could muster. I needed emotional strength. I needed physical strength. And I needed spiritual strength.
You see, God wants us to use ALL of our resources to fight the battle against the enemy. He doesn’t want us fighting with one hand tied behind our back, tripping over ourselves in our despair and fatigue.
Here are four practical ways you can fight fear spiritually and win the battle once and for all.
Don’t Pretend
Many of us like to color a pig and call it pretty. But it’s not. Never will be. We can’t pretend that fear isn’t real. We can’t run and hide.
Our first step towards healing is to acknowledge that our fear is real so we can begin to face it head-on instead of burying our heads in the sand. Like they say, denial is not just a river in Egypt.
One article in Psychology Today suggests,
A lifestyle of "not-knowing" requires that we subscribe to the old adage that what we don't know won't hurt us. But the evidence of life shows that this just isn't true. As a way of life, hear no evil-see no evil-speak no evil is a recipe for disaster. Denial may offer the appeal of short-term bliss, but it prevents us from taking responsibility for things that really do matter, things we could do something about.
Give Your Fears A Name
When I’m able to identify my fear, that’s half of the battle.
Are you afraid of —death, dying, heights, or diseases? What about fear of loss, loneliness, rejection, abandonment, intimacy? Is you fear more about shame, criticism, failing, being humiliated or simply being enough? Are you afraid of losing your health, your wealth, your safety and security? Perhaps your fear is about spiders and creepy-crawlies that make you squirm in terror?
Give your fears a name.
Speak The Truth That You Know About God
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God is faithful.
Lamentations 3:22–23 (NLT)The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.
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God is all-powerful.
Isaiah 40:29 (NLT) He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
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God will never leave you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) Be strong and courageous. DO not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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God is for you.
Romans 8:31 (NIV) What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
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God is good.
Psalms 136:1 (NIV)Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.
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God fights for you.
Deuteronomy 20:4 (ESV)For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies; to give you the victory.
I want to introduce you to one of my favorite fear-fighters. She is my dear friend and blogging mentor, Kelly Balarie. Her website is PurposefulFaith.com.
Earlier this year, Kelly came out with a new book called Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage To Overcome Your Fears and it is just that—a manual to come face-to-face with our deepest fears, and use God’s strength to awaken our courage and overcome every anxiety, worry, or doubt that stands in our way.
Kelly is a natural cheerleader. When I first entered the blogging community, Kelly was the first to reach out and invite me into her group. Every time I am discouraged, doubting my words or my calling, Kelly is right there to energize and encourage. And that’s precisely what she does with this book.
It’s far less about having shining circumstances or a picture of a sparkling future or an image with no cracks and much more about the small choice to remove your shoes in faith, knowing God’s planning goodness for you. Fear Fighting– pg 42.
She beautifully weaves her own experience with fear and teaches us how to allow the Spirit to rise up within us to help us fight our fears. She shows us how to identify fear-inducers like the devil, control, people-pleasing, worry, comparison, and many more, so we can demolish every fear the enemy would use to defeat us and destroy us.
With a clear action plan and a twelve-week study guide, this book will help arm you, inspire you, and encourage you. It will help you find the bravery and strength you never knew existed so you can discover as Kelly describes, the beautiful woman God created you to be.
What Is a Fear Fighter?
A fear fighter doesn't look around but rather inside for strength. She doesn't back down to naysayers but says God will help her. She doesn't see the waves as waters ready to sink her but floats to new heights.
She doesn't fear the truth but voices it, knowing it heals. She doesn't live a fake faith but finds a small seed within and nurtures it. She doesn't feel like a puppet, moving to the sway of the world, but dances.
She loses herself in vast Love to find herself loved. She will be you and she will be me, only by the power of the Holy Spirit.Fear Fighting _pg. 16
This book was named as one of Kathy Lee Gifford’s favorites on the Today Show. It has been a bestseller and there’s a reason why.
We all face fear. We all struggle to silence the roar of lies that invades our hearts. We all long for the bravery of a lion to stop running and start fighting. We dream of facing our fear-Goliath and standing with arms in the sky as we conquer this foe once and for all.
Fear Fighting gives us the roadmap based on God’s Word. I am ready to be a fear-fighter. I’m ready to be done with this mess called fear. I’m ready to live life to the fullest, to find joy, contentment, and peace. Are you ready?
Let’s do this together!
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/15539289
Nights can be the worst. That’s when they steal in and threaten to pull me under. Panic attacks.
Not me, the therapist, I thought. I had been free of panic attacks for almost twenty years and out of nowhere, they began again —three in the last eight months.
Somehow in the middle of the night a tsunami of sheer terror arises out of nowhere and crashes over me before I even know what’s happening, before I can have a conscious thought or even begin to fight for my life. In those moments, it takes every ounce of strength I can muster not to drown in the fear and to keep my head above water, though everything is pulling at me, holding me beneath the surface, jeopardizing my very survival. That’s what it feels like, anyway.
It’s not pretty. Sometimes a panic attack can mean a sleepless night, other times the attack can result in my body waging an internal war, tying every ligament and cell into a knot of torture and torment that can take days to calm. What has been worse for me is developing a fear of the fear, a dread and/or apprehension of having another attack.
Psychology Today defines a panic attack as, a sudden rush of fear and anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere and causes both physical and psychological symptoms. The level of fear experienced is unrealistic and completely out of proportion to the events or circumstances that trigger a panic attack.
Everyone who suffers from panic attacks experiences them differently, but some of the symptoms are fairly universal. These can be:
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trouble breathing
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chest pain
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rapid heart beat
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a feeling of impending doom or dread
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shortness of breath
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feeling of choking or smothering
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trembling
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sweating
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nausea
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feeling like you are going to die
If you have ever experienced extreme anxiety or panic attacks, you might feel like you’re alone. You’re not. Panic attacks can be quite common, with about 6 million American adults having a diagnosed panic disorder, a condition marked by recurrent panic attacks, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). At least 11% of the population has a panic attack in a given year.
These attacks typically affect more women than men, young adults, and individuals with workaholic, type A personalities, but they can also be found in children. They can be triggered by specific situations, by extended periods of extreme stress, or by nothing at all.
Suddenly your body surges with adrenaline. You are hit with a feeling of dread and impending doom like you are going to die, go crazy, faint or lose control, said Tamar Chansky, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book, Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.
Chansky goes on to describe the onset of a panic attack as the brain, suddenly and out of the blue, engaging the emergency response program like it would if you’re in serious danger. [This] would be great except that it happens in the absence of any actual threat.
Dr. Archibald Hart, Christian psychologist and expert on stress and anxiety, says in his book, The Anxiety Cure, that, many hard-working, driven people don’t realize just how close [we] walk to the precipice of anxiety until one day, out of the blue, a panic attack strikes . . . . We don’t realize how close we are to the edge of anxiety until we lose our footing and tumble . . . into the dark abyss of panic.
For me, there was tremendous shame because I believed somehow I should have this anxiety thing whipped. To be honest, shame's dark cloud held me in a prison of silence for a season. I told no one. Believing at the same time I was a spiritual failure because I couldn’t think clearly enough to get my Bible and find the verses dealing with fear, proved to be overwhelming. Yet today, I have hope.
While medication is necessary for some people, I have found several strategies that have turned the tide and are helping me win the battle over extreme anxiety and panic attacks.
Lean Into the Wave
In the midst of a panic attack most of my energy is spent trying to get away, to escape the horrific feelings that are pounding against me. Running never works —it usually makes it worse.
Deep-breathing exercises are critical in dealing with extreme anxiety or panic attacks. If you would like to learn more about deep breathing and watch a tutorial, here is a helpful article that will guide you step-by-step through deep-breathing techniques.
I’m learning more and more how to lean in and breathe through the feelings of panic. Like many women who breathe into labor pains, leaning in and breathing into the panic begins to change the direction of my energy. I can slowly focus my energy on the present moment, which helps me accept the feelings in my body and press through them to the other side.
Yes, there is another side. It’s important to know that a panic attack won’t last forever. In fact, they usually last about 10 minutes. The panic will begin to fade, moving away like waves slowly wandering back out to sea. In the end, you may be left a little tired, perhaps a little drained, but you will also relieved.
Talk Myself Off The Ledge
I cannot even think of talking myself through anything if I haven’t learned to lean into the wave and begun to slow my heart rate, calming my physical body to the point the fight or flight symptoms of brain fog start to dissipate. At this point I am clear-headed enough to re-engage my thinking and begin talking myself off the ledge.
At first, my thoughts are simple. I am okay. I am safe. God is with me. This won’t last forever. Being able to remind myself that though I am going through a difficult moment, it won’t kill me and I will make it to the other side, is invaluable.
I will also start to speak out loud my favorite Scripture on God’s love for me, His compassion, His care, even in my deepest struggles. Here are a few of my verses:
Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) -The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV) - Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
John 14:27 (NIV) - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Psalm 4:8 (NKJV) - I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
If I am still in a stressed state and my thoughts are racing, I will usually implement some cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that allow me to see the connection between my thoughts and behaviors. The point of CBT for those of us with panic disorder is to teach us how the panic attacks start as well as how to not perpetuate them. By learning to question the negative thoughts associated with the panic attack, decatastrophize the thoughts by taking them to their worst case conclusion, and challenge the negative beliefs, we can stop the panic spiral.
Without that panic spiral of catastrophizing questions — what’s next, what’s next, what’s next?! — panic attacks really can’t occur anymore, says Chansky.
Take Myself To The Beach (almost)
Guided imagery is powerful to help redirect my focus from the physical and emotional distress of the panic attack to my calm, safe place where I am free of any worry, anxiety, or fear. With guided imagery, I close my eyes and begin to focus on the smallest details of my calm, safe place —for me, the beach.
In noticing and engaging the sights, the smells, the sounds, and the sensations of the beach, I give my full attention to my safety rather than my stressor. In minutes, I can feel my body start to relax and my mind slowly untangle from the irrational, panicked thoughts that created the panic attack in the first place.
Phillipians 4:8 (NIV) tells us, Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
We don’t have to remain helpless victims to our fear and panic. We don’t have to let it destroy our peace. We are powerful to shape our experiences and create mindful, intentional ways to redirect our thoughts, to refocus our minds on something that is true, that is lovely. Pure.
I’m sure many people think those of us who struggle with anxiety and panic should, just get over it, as I once thought. I can’t say I will never have a panic attack again —the truth is, I don’t know. What I do know is that I am cultivating the courage to deal with them differently and each time, I’m a little less scared than before. Each time, my strength grows and my bravery shines, for I know I don’t walk this path alone.
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.
~Author Unknown
I know. We like quick fixes. We like our pills. We like anything we can passively do or take that will eliminate any amount of stress or anxiety in our lives.
However, there is a strategy that’s been around for ages that is proven to help lower our stress in minutes. It can be used anywhere, anytime. It’s free and, it comes without a prescription. It’s deep breathing.
Now most of you are rolling your eyes, conjuring images of pretzel-like yoga positions, or some kind of “New-Age” mumbo-jumbo. I know, I know. I thought that too, at first. But as someone with a long history of anxiety and panic disorder, deep breathing has given me back my life and empowered me to successfully deal with the stress life will always bring.
Deep breathing is our body’s internal thermostat, much like the thermostat in most of our homes. When our home’s temperature rises to a certain level, the air-conditioning kicks in and cools the home to its desired temperature. In a similar way, when our body’s internal temperature heats up, we can utilize deep breathing to lower the temperature inside our bodies to a more comfortable setting.
Science tells us that once we become stressed, our heart rate increases, sometimes dramatically. Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system, increasing shallow, rapid breathing, which in turn raises our internal temperature. In contrast, slow, deep breathing actually stimulates the opposing parasympathetic reaction — the one that calms us down. “If you breathe correctly, your mind will calm down,” said Dr. Patricia Gerbarg, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at New York Medical College in a recent NY Times article.
Deep breathing targets the physical stress responses in our bodies and not only forces our heart rate to slow, but also helps our muscles to relax, keeping our brains both calm and connected. By slowing our heart rate, we lower our internal temperature and remain better able to productively reason through and find effective strategies to deal with any stressful situation. This is why deep breathing is the one proven strategy that is guaranteed to reduce your stress in minutes. So, here are some of the basics.
https://vimeo.com/202839108
- Sitting upright or lying down, place your hands on your belly.
- Slowly breathe in, expanding your belly, to the count of three.
- Hold for a moment.
- Slowly breathe out to the count of four.
- The goal is to increase your breathing to a count of six. Practicing this for 10 to 20 minutes a day.
Practice this consistently, making sure that your breathing is deep from your belly rather than shallow, chest breathing, and you will discover a powerful tool that can be utilized anytime, anywhere, and in any situation. From the boardroom to the living room, from sitting at the dinner table to driving in the car, you can become intentional in your breathing and learn how to use deep breathing exercises to regulate your internal temperature and reduce stress.
If there is one tool that will increase your EI (emotional intelligence) and help you successfully manage life and relationships, deep breathing is that tool. Learn it. Practice it. Make it your “go-to” and you will find increased inner strength and greater peace.
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Blessings,
Lisa
About Lisa
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
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For TWO DAYS ONLY, MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ for $1.99!!!!!
You cannot miss out on this deal!
To Order Your eBook Now Click Here
Have you or a loved one dealt with depression, anxiety? Do you feel your best life is always just beyond your reach? Do problems in relationships seem to follow you?
If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, ‘Peace for a Lifetime’ can not only help you find healing from your deepest wounds, it can help you cultivate harmony and abundance in every area of your life AND your relationships.
Wouldn’t that be awesome - to move from emptiness to abundance, from brokenness to wholeness, from chaos to peace?
Here’s what you’ll discover:
- Three things that keep people stuck in a cycle of despair and disappointment in their lives and in their relationships
- Simple steps to build a healthy relationship with your emotions so you can make them work for you instead of against you in your life
- A clear plan to get you investing in yourself in all the right ways so you can maximize your satisfaction, wellbeing, and God-given potential
- Strategies for learning how to resolve conflicts and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships
- Templates to begin growing your emotional vocabulary to that you can communicate more effectively with everyone in your life
So what is holding you back? There is so much to gain in your life by reaching forward. This journey marks a new beginning – your new beginning.
And with a deal like this one, you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain! Don’t just give ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ as a gift to yourself. Order them for your friends and loved ones. Or order a dozen for your summer small group study. They make a great leadership guide for any company or organization.
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I’d love to hear from you – what area of your life do you struggle the most to create the life you’ve always dreamed? Leave your response in the comments below.
We have a glass of wine at the end of the day to take the edge off. We take a pill to numb us from whatever’s making us feel bad. We throw ourselves into work to avoid having to come home and deal with the pressures of marriage, finances, parenting. We use phones, gadgets, and games to distract us. We use the television to help us zone-out. It seems we expend so much energy to keep us from feeling anything unpleasant, anything messy, anything real.
The problem is, avoiding our negative emotions doesn’t get rid of the negative emotions. They are always there, right beneath the surface. They do come out – usually in ways we wished they wouldn’t. Over time, it takes exhaustive amounts of energy to get rid of them and yet, they are still never resolved.
Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that explains why we need a new way of thinking about emotions so we can actually use all of our emotions, even the negative emotions, to work for us instead of against us in our lives.
Most people today believe that all negative emotions are bad. We are supposed to feel good all of the time. If we don’t, we must find a pill or remedy to remove the feeling, so we can get back to normal.
Even in the church, many see positive emotions as divine blessings and negative emotions as spiritual attacks from the enemy. We pray that God will remove, heal, deliver. We long for victory. Few of us stop to inquire about the emotions we are feeling, to lean into them so we can understand them. In doing so, we miss golden opportunities to grow, to learn, and to heal.
For many years, I felt emotions simply happened to me, that I was helpless to do anything with these emotions. I believed emotions were bad, that they were Satan’s attacks over which my only hope was deliverance. When I realized that God created my emotions and experienced emotions Himself, I began to believe there might be a reason for my emotions other than to torment me. Perhaps God understood there was an area in which I needed to grow or heal. Instead of delivering me from the emotion, He wanted me to find healing in that emotion, so I could learn what I needed to learn and ultimately overcome.
My journey here on earth seems to be about growth. Most of our emotional growth happens in the difficult seasons of life. Growth requires friction. Growth requires resistance. Anxiety is part of the growth process. Maybe some amount of anxiety comes from the internal struggle with the unknown, the resistance that is necessary for me to grow strong.
Emotions are not bad. Even negative emotions are not bad. Emotions are part of God’s design to help us navigate the waters of life effectively. Ignoring, numbing, or shaming our emotions leaves us disconnected, wandering, and lost. Understanding how emotions working together with our thinking creates balance and equips us to experience our emotions as wise guides instead of stumbling blocks.
Emotions are a powerful resource. My new book, Peace for a Lifetime, unpacks the purpose of emotions so we are no longer forced to ignore them, numb them, or drown in them. I share simple, practical, life steps that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime.
Emotions are powerful resources. We will either use them as wise guides or stumbling blocks.
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by Andrew AdamsThe holiday season is upon us (unless you are reading this after the fact…but it’ll be back soon enough!) and anxiety is filling the air. Everywhere I look I see busyness and worry amidst the joyful atmosphere. A smiling face is lost amongst the endless stream of shoppers.
He tells me, My grace is sufficient for you. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)I was running late. I’m never late. I hate to be late.
We’ve all had moments where we were afraid. Fear is a natural emotion, a normal response to a real threat. We may feel afraid if someone unknown enters our home. We may feel afraid if we are in a situation where our life or wellbeing is endangered. I was afraid one night when I was driving down the interstate and a deer ran out in front of my car. I was terrified the day I stood in front of my television and watched two enormous towers fall.