I used to think I was fairly smart.  I graduated at the top of my class, got a full scholarship to college.  I should have had everything necessary for success —but I didn’t.

Emotionally, I was a wreck. Though I had a good IQ, my EQ (emotional quotient) wasn’t very high and that impacted everything —my career, my relationships, everything.

Daniel Goleman, one of the prominent researchers on emotional intelligence found that only 20% of success in life was determined by our IQ, while 80% of our success is determined by our EQ.  That’s right – 80%.  

Last week  I wrote about God’s design for our emotions. 

 If you missed it, you can read ‘Why Your Emotions Matter More Than You Think.’

I’ve found eight traits emotionally-intelligent people use for success not just in their careers, but in all of their relationships as well. Make sure to read to the end and take our Emotional Intelligence Quiz!

1.       They’re more self-aware.

Individuals with emotional intelligence are able to accurately self-reflect.  They know their personality, their core strengths and weaknesses, as well as environments that will bring out the best in them.  They don’t allow their weaknesses to hold them back.  Rather than beating themselves up for what they don’t know or struggle to do well, they focus on creating strategies to improve skill sets so they can achieve their goals.

Emotionally-intelligent people have cultivated a healthy relationship with their emotions. They understand, in developing a healthy relationship with their emotions, an amazing thing happens: they no longer have to be afraid of their emotions, nor do they have run from them. The simply deal with them. CLICK TO TWEET

2.They live with balance.

Because they have a high level of self-awareness, they instinctively know how to cultivate and maintain balance in their lives. Whether at work or in their personal lives, they understand how to take care of themselves well in order to be the best they can be in every area of life.  They eat well, get plenty of rest, and foster interests outside of work to establish and enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing.

3.They’re not perfectionists.

While emotionally-intelligent individuals are highly motivated and accomplished, they recognize that perfection is impossible.  Instead of creating an impossible cycle of unrealistic expectations followed by frustration and shame, they focus their energies on doing their best, maintaining flexibility, and learning from their mistakes.  

4. They’re curious about life.

They’ve learned to cultivate an appreciation for varied and unique experiences.  They are curious and passionate, knowing how to explore and learn new concepts and skills. Their curiosity makes them equally open to asking questions as well as to adapting to new solutions.  Curious people are delightful people who haven’t lost their innate sense of wonder in a complex world of responsibilities.

5.  They’re empathetic with others.

An essential quality of EQ, individuals are well-skilled in their ability to relate to others.  They can listen, understand, and offer empathy to others as they share thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  This better communication and reduces conflict both in the workplace and in personal relationships.

6. They’re growth-oriented.

Individuals with high EQ aren’t afraid of change. Because they are open to learning new things, they embrace growth as a necessary and important part of life. They are eager to accept challenges and usually adapt well even under difficult circumstances.  In seeing the bigger picture, they can mobilize internal strategies to adjust and energize around new problems and circumstances.

7. They’re grateful.

Living with gratitude has an enormous impact on our level of Emotional Intelligence.  People who have a grateful disposition look for things big and small for which they can be thankful. Click To Tweet  They are generally satisfied with life and rarely allow negative feedback or people to influence their lives or their decisions.

8.  They bring out the best in others.

Because they are at peace with themselves, people with EQ are able to see coworkers and friends not as threats, but as assets.  Not needing to be defensive with others, they instead create a safe environment in which others can thrive.  They love to see colleagues, friends, and family reach their potential and are motivated by cooperation rather than competition.  

How many of these qualities are you able to identify? Do some seem to come naturally while others seem overwhelming?

The best news about Emotional Intelligence is that it can be cultivated and nurtured throughout our lives.  Where we are today does not have to determine our future.  

How can You find out what Your Emotional Intelligence is?

I’ve included this quiz for subscribers as part of my Resource Library that will help you get a baseline of your EQ.

My book, Peace For A Lifetime: Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony Through Emotional Abundanceis all about learning the skills to lower your anxiety, lower the drama in your life, increase your Emotional Abundance, and maximize your peace!

The more we increase our level of EI, the more stable, positive, and productive our lives become, and the less chaotic, reactive, and hopeless our relationships feel.  This is the single greatest area we could invest in for ourselves, our children, and our futures so that we can achieve our best life!

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891